Having just experienced a 'High' it was time to experience a 'Low.'

We had just returned from our daughter's wedding in Australia and still full of excitement at

the experience, busy sharing photo's with friends and relatives that were not able to join us.

There was something we needed to look into,it was while we were in Australia, my wife had

experienced difficulty swallowing ,we had just sat down overlooking the harbor and were all 

enjoying our meal when Doreen complained she was finding it a bit different swallowing.not

wanting to spoil the occasion we agreed it's something we must sort out when we get back 

                                                           to the UK.

        Two years before she had had investigative treatment,our local Doctor had made an 

appointment for her to have a tube (magic eye) investigate her stomach which she was having

 problems with at the time,I remember the day well I had arranged to take her and wait for 

her it was only going to take 30/40 minutes to complete,2hrs later having sat and watched 

others that I assumed were having  the similar test done leaving before us,Doreen finally 

appeared.apparently they had experienced difficulty passing the tube through into the 

stomach.after a week she had to go to the local GP to get the report from him on this

procedure,there were no problems to report and no further visits were necessary.and the

                                       issue with the stomach resolved itself   

I often wonder with the experience that followed two years later whether it was a warning

                   or whether it was the contributing factor in what was to follow.

The test for difficulty in swallowing was carried out at the hospital and a tumor was found

in the lower part of the esophagus and it was cancerous,the test was completed at the 

      hospital where Doreen was nursing, so she knew many that were involved.

We were summoned into a small room to be given the verdict,she was devastated and

immediately broke down,I don't think it particularly helped  the situation working in that 

environment the reality is much more intense,and you don't get the softer approach from

the one that has had to break the news,like the magic cures and you will be back to 

             normal in no time,because they know that you know different.

Doreen had lost many close colleagues with this terrible disease so was aware of the 

                                                 struggle ahead.

The main cancer treatment hospital was approx 10 miles away and an appointment was 

          made to speak with one of the main surgeons responsible for performing the 

operations.He was very forthright in his approach and told it as it was I think he was 

aware of Doreen working as a nurse and his approach is slightly different.

I remember one stat he gave us,his last three patient's that he operated on were as 

follows 1 died 1 on life support and one in the recovery stage.,faced with these facts

we were then told to consider whether or not to go ahead with the operation and to 

go away and spend the weekend on thinking about it (given the same question I had 

already made my mind up a big no )but Doreen had never any doubt in her mind 

what she wanted to do, she was very positive about going ahead with the operation.

On closer examination, it was discovered that the Tumor was quite big  and in a 

            difficult, part to perform surgery  being close to vital arteries.

So Doreen had to spend time in hospital to undergo treatment to reduce the size

      of the Tumor,this she achieved and an operation was then arranged.

The Night before the operation we had a visit from the anesthetist he was a very 

jovial character,he said tomorrow you will be dressed up like a Christmas tree 

there will be lights flashing everywhere are you sure you still want to go ahead with

it ( I had already made my mind up months before so he definitely wasn't asking 

me) never any second thoughts from Doreen at all she was so determined to 

                                    take this on and beat it 

The operation was the longest operation they were performing at the hospital at

the time and lasted for 6hours Doreen was one of the first to go down to the 

           theater,then the waiting began it just seemed to take forever.

The operation was considered to be a success and the Surgeon was pleased 

with everything .Doreen was moved to the special care unit to recover.

In the seriousness of  the occasion,  a little bit of humor emerged,there was

a panic on in theater apparently, they couldn't find Doreen's dentures,she

had left strict instruction to have them put back in her mouth before returning 

to the ward,and this had been done so the reason they couldn't complete there

                      list was because she was wearing them.

Doreen's recovery was nothing short of a miracle,she was the surgeon's star 

patient, you wouldn't think she had had major surgery I am convinced it was

partly due to her attitude towards the operation she was so determined to go

                              ahead and make it a success.

Her progress continued with every meeting with the Surgeon the prognosis

just got better until he finally said he wouldn't have to make a further appointment

             and the operation was considered to be a complete success.

For the next year, life was bliss as normal service was resumed to everyday living

Unknown to us Big C had other ideas and raised it's terrible head again and this 

time it wasn't going away,we had to use chemotherapy to keep it under control.

this was a difficult for everyone to deal with Doreen's sister Irene was very good 

during this time and would spend days and in the latter stages weeks helping out.

Before Doreen became too ill I organized a trip for her and her sister to fly to 

    Australia to stay with Judith and Matt for 1month they all enjoyed that.

The chemotherapy treatment was the most difficult to cope with,and for
Doreen losing her hair was a major blow,the choosing of a new hairpiece
helped to alleviate this.I remember on one occasion going to collect her from
hospital after a chemo;session we got halfway across the ward and Doreen
fainted,so she had to stay in hospital overnight the following morning we had to
move fast to get her back home,Chemo treatment recovery never gave us
much time in Doreen's case,some people react differently but in Doreen's case
her condition would deteriorate in 48 hrs after finishing the treatment
We arrived at the hospital early,collected a wheelchair on our way to the ward
Doreen arrived home still wearing her nightwear so determined we were to get
her home,any delay would have meant she would have to stay in the hospital.

I never understood the fact that all the time we had to adjust  to the situation the

shock of being told by the Doctor, you do know your wife is dying ? I answered

yes but was still in a state of denial others who visited were better able to judge

the situation than me.All the children were told of the situation and all rallied 

round to give their support the Doctor had organized a Marie Curie Nurse,this
was a huge help as they were used to dealing with similar situations and were
very sympathetic and honest with us in keeping us informed on the drugs
they were administering to Doreen to help her to feel more comfortable. 

        Doreen passed away peacefully. on  28 January 2009.aged 66 yrs

                                    https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/

We had arranged a service for family and friends at Leaton Trinity Church this
was the local Church Doreen had enjoyed visiting and it was nice to see many
of her friends from the church at the service,there were many of her colleagues
from the hospital also.It was a lovely service by the Reverent Geoffery Alston
        Everyone commented on how they had enjoyed the service

To Doreen her family was her life and the love was reciprocal she had many good
friends,and enjoyed her connection with the local church and her faith played a big
part in her life,she was a happy person and had a sense of humor,everyone that
knew her would have a happy story to tell.

                                                           Leaton Holy Trinity Church